Certificate of Achievement - MERIT

This is what I think my Mum is working towards...

After the hoola hoop class my Mum decided that we needed secret training to surprise teacher Lynne in our next and final class. She managed to find a bicycle tyre which she used as our practice hoop. You can't fault her for trying - without my lead she managed to handle the tyre, treats and for the most part me. It didn't take long to work out that every time I jumped through the hoop I got a treat. To stop it getting too boring I started to work on my jump position doing more of a bascule than a flattish jump and getting my back legs neatly together. She in turn started making the jump bigger at the last minute and there is a limit to my cooperation.

Today Thursday we got the iron dragon again and then the mother of the iron dragon. It was pouring with rain and I got a bit confused because I'd tried not to wee for so long on the big dragon and then I didn't know where to do it. Anyway I did it just after we got off the iron dragon but no-one seemed to mind.

It was raining very very hard as we drove to class. Immediately I knew where we were and I scampered up the steps into the hall. Neither Reggie or Ruby was there but there was a very attractive young lady called Patty and we had a bit of a chat.

We were told to be on a different mat away from Bobby and Reggie. My Mum was desperate to do the hoola hoop but instead we were having a sort of test of all the things we had learned. She was not happy about that as we had done it the week before. Anyway there were only four of us and we all did our stuff - sit, down, leave, recall where I got to scamper up and down the hall. We were all marked but we didn't know what our marks were and my Mum being a very competitive person wanted to know what everyone got.

We all passed with merit and got certificates except Bobby who only got a pass.

Then it was over, no hoola hoop so that was a bit of an anti-climax.

I am on my own for a long time at night and forced to amuse myself. I think I am quite inventive which is more than my Mum who always leaves me the Telegraph and even more boring, the travel section. I amuse myself for a bit ripping it into shreds, long strips and then smaller little bits but that gets a bit boring. I have a toy box with all sorts of things but I could really do with some new ones.

I've found a small hole in the doors that lead to the garden with some rather chewable wood. I made a small hole into rather a big one which I was quite proud off but that met with much displeasure from the parents. My Mum attempted to repair the hole and taped it up with duct tape.

After a long snooze I found myself full of energy and thought I'd have a go at the duct tape. It was good fun I thought I was winning but then the duct tape hit back and before I knew it, it had attached itself to my paw. I was quite tired by then and went to sleep again.

In the morning my Dad found the duct tape and took me up to my Mum who grabbed at it and ouch it was painful. They tried all sorts of things but the duct tape resisted.

They gave up and we went for our walk in Bishops Park with the duct tape on. I found lots of really interesting smells and some rogue leaves which I attacked and rounded up.

We saw Digger and I met some new dogs who as usual were not that interested in me.

When we got back my Mum had this determined look and she went for the duct tape. It was so quick I didn't catch on and youch she ripped it right off. Didn't really hurt.

Splash!

After breakfast we went for our usual walk down the muddy path where I am no longer allowed to escape into the Al Pacas field and across the scary stream. Then it's freedom and off I go doing grown up dog stuff. I thought I was one step ahead as one day we went one way so I started going that way but it turned out we were going another way.

We came to a place where there is a special dog door. My Mum lifts this bit of wood and I go through. I was bounding along huge grass nearly bigger than me and suddenly I spied these horses. I made a beeline for them jumping over the grass as fast as I could and then did one huge jump and oh my God landed in the stream. I was completely submerged and I don't like water panic panic. I made it to the bank and my Mum was there to hike me up. Blimey that was a shock.

Horses followed me everywhere. Later my Mum went hunting at the pub (where Robbie lives) but I was in Sam's sleep machine.

When my Mum got back she was so tired that she forgot to close the bathroom door. I snuck in and found some fun things to chew. Then I thought it was time for my nap but I couldn't get out of the bathroom. Luckily I heard my Mum and I wasn't sure whether to let her know I was stuck or take the wrath for having chewed everything - including my favourite, loo paper. Then I took pity on her because she couldn't find me. Luckily I made the right choice because she was more concerned that I'd been trapped in the bathroom than the damage I'd done - until she realised what I'd chewed. By her reaction I'm not sure if it was something she liked or something that was dangerous. But it clearly wasn't good.

Hoola hoops and fud

It was dark as my Mum packed up my bag and bundled me into the sleep machine. It was very wet and we made our way to school. We went to our usual place opposite Ruby and Summer and were next to Bobby who gets special treatment and we always have to stay away from him.

We did easy stuff although I usually just lie down all the time as I seem to get better treats. At least this time my Mum had finally got me some frankfurters but they were much smaller than everyone else's. I was a bit of a star and got a bit over excited. I wasn't allowed to kiss Reggie as much as usual. Reggie came with his Dad who seemed a bit lost.

Things were all going quite predictably when suddenly we were all given hoola hoops. They were all quite large hoops except for one which was given to me. The idea is to jump through them for fud but it's a bit hard for my Mum to handle the hoola hoops, lead, clicker and fud so we got tangled up a bit. I kept forgetting to get my back legs over the hoola hoop because I was trying to get the fud. I think we need more practice.

The great iron dragon

Where was I? Reliving the moment the great iron dragon appeared in front of me and my Mum. Whoosh it came and then it stopped and the doors opened and we stepped a house that had huge doors which shut and then it moved. Fortunately I was in my Mum's jacket as it was all a bit bewildering.

A lot of people looked at me and I found it all a bit scary but also exciting. We stopped at several stations and then we got off and there was a sea of people rushing. We went through the rather scary swishing gates and up some stairs and there was Colette and Chica the cat in a box. Luckily this time I was awake.

We marched on to another even bigger iron dragon, me, Chica, Mum and Colette got on and found a lovely spot. This dragon was much smoother. Chica was allowed out and promptly jumped off the table and onto the floor. I wish I'd been quick enough as I could see lots of crumbs on the floor. When Chica was caught and put back in her box Colette, who likes to eat a lot, got out lots and lots of food and poured herself some wine. She and my Mum had all sorts of fud and I got my usual lunch. The dragon was so smooth that I found myself dropping off.

Then it was off the dragon and we were picked up by Sam who I think was moderately pleased to see me.

Luckily we got home quite quickly as I was dying for a wee.

Tube, train and automobile

This has been an epic week. I have become extremely versatile when it comes to leaf chasing (which makes me very hungry). I am also the same colour as the leaves. We have had lots of leaf walks in Bishops Park where I must admit I have been getting a bit distracted. I think my Mum needs to step up the calibre of treats as when I am chatting or jumping all over a new friend she needs to realise she is not the only one who has an agenda.

She also is in the doghouse for introducing me to Ted. She thought Ted being a Norfolk terrier would naturally want to be friends but he is a grumpy old man and even though I really tried to like him he was just a bit too aggressive. I think he must have some phobia, not enough affection phobia, or more likely too much affection. He is clearly used to getting his own way. I don't think that's the way to be even though I am young and haven't worked it all out yet I think Ted could use a bit of give and take. He rolled me over and my Mum didn't like his tone - she suddenly whisked me up by my lead and I was swinging at the end of it. Boy was I glad to get my feet on the ground.

The next day we left with a real sense of purpose and lots of my toys in a bag. I was being carried and we went at quite a pace until we got to some metal gates that didn't work. I've since found out that my Mum's oyster card needed charging up. Finally we went through the gates and up some stairs and there was a huge scary hole. Then whoosh a mechanical dragon came steaming through.

Oops got to go and play now I need to chase my squeaky slipper...... (to be continued..)